It almost hurts...

I am so lucky to be here right now, sitting next to my beautiful, peaceful daughter as she sleeps.  Her skin is so soft, her lips are so lovely, her eyelashes so long and beautiful.  She is perfect in every way.  I am so grateful every day for the wonderful gift we were blessed with on the day she was born.  Since that day, our lives have changed in almost every way.  Our sleep is different, our day to day routines are different, the way in which we love each other is different.   I have been quite amazed with how selfless you become once you have a child.  No longer are decisions made based upon our wants, but instead they are based around her needs.  And I am OK with that.  There will come a day when things resume to some semblance of "normality", but why rush it?  It will always be different in some way, as now we have this little one to care for, no matter how big she gets.  I am in no rush for her to get big, but I do welcome and look forward to each upcoming stage. 

I often find myself just staring at her.  Watching her breathe (making sure she IS breathing!), her chest rises and falls, she makes small movements, and I am happy.  Her face rests on her arm as she sleeps, and I realize how alike we are.  How I am a part of this lovely baby.  She is a part of me. How lucky are we to have the ability to create life?  To create these mini-versions of ourselves, and then watch them grow up to be their own individual selves?  I am so eager to see who she becomes.  What will interest her?  What parts of Nate and I will she carry, and what will she surprise us with? 

Emery Grae, you are the joy of my life.  I feel so blessed that I get to be your mama, that I get to watch you grow, that I get to cuddle you as you sleep (for as long as you'll let me!), and that I get to call you my own.  Slow down, don't grow so fast, but I promise you that I will cherish each stage, every moment. 

As I revel on how sweet and lovely you are, I realize that my love for you is so big...it almost hurts.